


Stone cold sober

by NaleyForever2020



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28531551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaleyForever2020/pseuds/NaleyForever2020
Summary: Charity's a recovering alcoholic and needs to make things right the wrong she done to Vanessa but is she too late for her forgiveness.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Charity’s been living in Liverpool for the last three months now she needed to get away from the village she couldn’t keep drinking the way she was she had to get help and after leaving rehab she couldn’t move back home so she decided to move near Ross so she could be close to Moses.

It’s been six months since her spilt with Vanessa and nine months since she last saw her former fiancé she missed her so much. Charity’s been seeing a psychiatrist and its really helped to keep her off the wagon, Moses was back living with her and Noah would spend weekends here when he’s not in training even though she was scared for her son being in the army she wanted her son to be happy she had to support him.

Vanessa’s been home for the last three months she needed to move back to the village she’d heard from Chas, Charity was happy in Liverpool and even though it hurt still to think about Charity she was happy for her. Johnny missed his mummy Charity and she wished things were different she hated the way they ended things.

Vanessa bought the place of Debbie when she decided to buy a house in Scotland, even Sarah was loving living up there she still kept in contact with them. Vanessa still couldn’t believe Charity let Noah join the army but he was enjoying it.

**Chapter 1**

“Hello Charity how’s things been going” Dr Green asked as she sat down.

“I listened to what you said last week I sold my share of the pub to Chas, I can’t be around it I know I’ll fall back to how I was the temptation would be to strong. Vanessa bought our old house and is living there I’ve decided to live in Liverpool I’m going to get a job Moses is happy here, I can be happy here too” Charity said it still hurt thinking about Vanessa and Johnny and what she lost.

“You know until you apologise to Vanessa explain how you feel you won’t be able to move on, it’s going to eat you up inside and you’ll go back into that dark hole” Dr Green said as he placed his notes on the table.

“How can I, she won’t want to see me after what I did. I have to get updates about her and Johnny from Chas. He’s my son and I just left him too, how could they forgive me after what I did I cheated on her while she had cancer. I know I was a mess at the time but it’s not an excuse she deserves better than me and so does Johnny” Charity cried she hasn’t seen her little boy since Tracy took him back to Vanessa’s that day when her world fell apart.

“Charity you need to make things right, you can’t keep running from this. You’ve worked through all your problems you’re not the same person who walked into my office three months ago, I know it’s going to be hard but you need to do this it will give you both closure. You don’t have to do anything right now just think about what I said” Dr Green said with all that’s she’s been through he could understand she’d be scared to put herself out there again and face her past.

“Thanks doc, I’ll see you next week I’m gonna think about what you said” Charity said as she got up to leave she still had time left in her session but she really didn’t want to stay there any longer.

After leaving Charity went for a walk to clear her head before picking Moses up from school. She knew he was right she needed to go and see Vanessa and make things right. Maybe set up visitation for Johnny she missed him too so much and she knew Moses missed them too it wasn’t right to keep the boys apart because of what she did.

“Mummy” Moses smiled as he ran over to his mum.

“I missed you Moz did you have fun at school” Charity asked as she hugged her son.

“Yeah we had PE today, mummy what are we having for dinner” Moses asked as they walked home.

“Moses about that I’m going to drop you off with Daddy I need to go and speak to mummy Ness” Charity said as he turned to look at her.

“We going home, I wanna see mummy Ness and Johnny I miss them” Moses said as he stopped walking.

“I know you miss them I miss them to babe, I need to make things right with mummy Ness and apologise I’m going to speak to her and hopefully we can arrange something so you can see her and Johnny again” Charity said as she crouched down to speak to her little boy.

“Does mummy Ness not want to see me” Moses asked with tears forming in his eyes.

“Oh babe of course she does she loves you it’s me she’s mad at I hurt her Moses this is my fault not yours” Charity cried as she wrapped him in her arms it killed her the pain she caused her family.

“Mummy you say sorry then everything will be ok” Moses smiled as she wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I hope so Moz I really do, I love you so much, I’m so happy I still have you” Charity smiled as she carried her son.

“I love you to mummy” Moses smiled as he kissed her cheek.

Vanessa has been working all day, she was exhausted all she wanted to do was relax, and have a quite night thankfully Tracy had Johnny for the night as she was working late. After her shower Vanessa decided to watch a movie and have a glass of wine having the place to herself she realised how boring it was.

“Hi Ness” Charity broke out as Vanessa opened the door.

“Charity what, what are you doing here” Vanessa asked shocked to see her at her door.

“I needed to see you, there’s so much I need to say I know it’s late sorry about that” Charity said maybe this wasn’t a good idea she was really nervous.

“That’s ok come in, do you want a drink I’ve got some wine” Vanessa asked.

“No thank you, I don’t drink not anymore,” Charity said as she sat down on the sofa.

“So what is it you wanted to talk to me about” Vanessa asked still in shock she wasn’t expecting this.

“I need to explain some things, you were right I needed to speak to someone get help. This is going to be really hard for me to say but I have to tell you” Charity said this was a lot harder than she thought it be.

“Ok, I’m glad you’re seeing someone I should have helped you get help sooner” Vanessa said as she sat opposite her.

“I’m, I’m an alcoholic ok, that was, that is still the core of my problems. For a long time I’ve been trying to hide it and deny it but I can’t not anymore it’s what I am. I’ve been sober now for over three months,” Charity said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I’m so happy you got help Charity and that you can admit you have a problem there’s nothing to be ashamed about to get help” Vanessa said as she took Charity’s hand. 

“I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, I had periods in my life where I would use alcohol to numb the pain you saw how I was after the trial I should have got help then, even though then I cut back on the drinking I never really stopped I would still drink just not to that extent. When you first went to your mum’s I was fine, but then you needed to stay longer because your mum had an accident, I knew you had to be there to help her I couldn’t be selfish with you. As time went on, we barley spoke and I missed you like crazy that’s when I started drinking a lot more and my mind was all over the place. I honestly believed you didn’t want to be with me anymore when you just took off after I adopted Johnny. I was so happy you were coming home then you just left, I’m not blaming you I should have told you how I was feeling” Charity cried as Vanessa interrupted. 

“I should have come home told you what was going on, I know I wasn’t blameless in this Charity” Vanessa cried she knew she was to blame for their break up too. 

“Ness this isn’t your fault it’s mine, I did this not you. When I arrived home I was convinced you had someone else that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. I took off and that’s when I made the biggest mistake of my life but I swear to you I wasn’t having an affair it was one stupid kiss. I should have told you when I spoke to you that evening I still don’t understand why I didn’t, when you told me the cancer was gone and you were coming home I’d never felt so happy. I was going to tell you when I saw you I know I would have, so I could explain why it happened. When we broke up I was a mess that’s when I started drinking more than I ever had I couldn’t believe that I could hurt you that I lost you and Johnny. Moses was with Ross thankfully so he didn’t get to see me in the state I was in” Charity cried the thought of her boy seeing her in that state makes her feel sick.

“Charity I shouldn’t have taken Johnny from you, I should have come home I know you wasn’t having an affair I spoke to Moira when I first came back she told me everything about her brother” Vanessa said needing her to know that.

“When I received the letter with the ring back I lost it. My family were sick of me by this point all I did was drink Noah and Sarah had moved out I was here on my own. I had a row with Moira she was saying what a terrible mum I was and she was right I didn’t deserve to be a mum. I’d never felt so broken I’d lost you, I’d lost my kids I had nothing I was nothing I thought everyone would be better off without me. So I took some pills I was so drunk I wasn’t thinking clearly if Cain hadn’t found me I probably wouldn’t be here now” Charity cried this was still hard to talk about but she had to tell her everything.

“You tried to kill yourself, why would you do that I know things were hard Rhona called me and told me about the state you were in but that how could you think we’d be better off” Vanessa cried if she’d have died she didn’t think she could have handled that.

“I know I should never have done it I have kids but I wasn’t thinking clearly not that, that’s an excuse as I said I was a mess. After I left the hospital, Cain put me in rehab he didn’t tell anyone, no one knows none of my family. When I got out I had to leave so I headed straight to Liverpool rented a flat and once I was settled Moses came to live with me again it’s just been me and him for three months now. I see my psychiatrist once a week it’s really helped me I’m sorry I never got help sooner” Charity said as Vanessa held her hand.

“I know you sold the pub to Chas, Paddy told me that’s a good idea so what is it you’re going to do” Vanessa asked as she got up to make them some tea.

“I’m going to college during the day while Moses is at school and I’m going to get a part time job I have enough money to cover my bills while I figure things out. Ness there’s still things I need to say I have to tell you” Charity said as she watched Vanessa walk into the kitchen.

“Ok, I’m just gonna make us some tea I don’t know about you but I need a drink” Vanessa said as she put the kettle on.

“Ok, sounds good thank you, the place looks the same” Charity said as she got up and sat at the table.

“Yeah I kept it how it was it’s a bit too big for just me and Johnny but he’s happy to be back here he misses you and the boys” Vanessa said as she made the tea.

“I know Noah comes over sometimes he mentioned it I’m glad you didn’t turn your back on my boy like my past relationships it means a lot to him to still have you in his life. Moses misses you and Johnny to so much he wanted to come with me today” Charity smiled as Vanessa handed her the mug.

“I love those boys I’ll always be here for them. Noah doing really well, I wish he wasn’t in the army though scares me a little bit if he gets sent to a war zone” Vanessa said as she sat opposite Charity at the table.

“I know that scares me too, but I have to let him live his life after everything I’ve put him through I just want him to be happy” Charity sighed she hadn’t been the best mum to any of her kids but she was determined to be different now be the mum they deserved.

“That’s all any parent wants is for their kids to be happy, so what else was it you needed to talk to me about” Vanessa asked. 

“You know when I was with you I felt like a bull in a china store, wrecking things I loved you so much and I still managed to hurt you I hate myself for what I did. The person I love most in the world, the person who would have done anything for me and I wrecked that, and I know I’m being selfish for being here, I don’t expect your forgiveness what I did was unforgiveable. I just wanted to come here and look you in the eye and say I’m sorry, I’m sorry for what I did, I’m sorry for causing you pain and embarrassment. I should have been strong enough to support you to be there for you when you needed me I’m so, so sorry that I kissed that guy I’m sorry for making you think I was having an affair. I can’t undo the wrong I’ve done, I know that my heart is so full of regrets I know I don’t deserve forgiveness and I wouldn’t blame you if you never want to see me again” Charity cried as she took Vanessa’s hand.

“I love you Charity I will always love you I just can’t be with you, I just can’t trust you. When we broke up I was a mess too, my mum was doing everything poor Johnny was so confused why I was upset all the time and why we couldn’t come home I’ve never felt pain like I did when I lost you. You were my world and losing you destroyed me you were my forever and I hated you for what you did. I meant what I said in my letter Charity, I did never want to see you again and that we’re done. But I was wrong I was just so angry at you I couldn’t get past that anger but I’m ok now I’m not trying to hurt you I’m just being honest” Vanessa cried she knew what she was saying would hurt her.

I know I already said I was sorry and I know those words sounds hollow and I know that you’re scared to love me because of what I did. I know that I don’t deserve you but all love is a risk whether it’s with me or somebody else you have to believe your worthy of love, and I swear to you I’ll never let you down again I can’t live without you” Charity said as she knelt in front of Vanessa taking her hand.

“You’ve been doing fine these past few months” Vanessa said as she tried to take her hand back.

“I’ve been working my ass off to get better, it’s been so hard for me to admit it to myself. I never felt worthy of you, I never felt good enough. I still don’t feel like I deserve you but all I want us to be with you to take care of you and our family to love you, to show you everyday for the rest of our lives just how much I love you and how much you mean to me. Your it for me Ness I’ll never love another. I want you to be my wife I want us to be a family again” Charity cried hoping she’d say yes this wasn’t her intention when she decided to come over but she needed to do this because she need Vanessa in her life. 

“I’m sorry Charity I love you and I always will, but I can’t, I just can’t, so much has happened and I forgive you but I just can’t forget. I hate the way thing are I miss you to so much I’m not ready for us to be back together or anything like that. I don’t want to lose you from my life and I know Johnny wants to see you and Moses, so we can come up with an arrangement so we can both see our boys, if that’s something you’d like to do” Vanessa asked hoping she wanted too.

“I want to spend time with Johnny he’s my son I miss him I swear I won’t let you down again. Moses is going to be so happy, I’m sorry I kept him from you I just wasn’t ready before to say what needed to be said” Charity said it hurt that Vanessa didn’t want to marry her but she was going to have her boy back this was more than she expected when she came here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It’s been a week now since Charity went to see Vanessa and they worked out a schedule for her to see Johnny and for Vanessa to see Moses. Ross was happy for Charity to see she was getting her life back. Charity decided to move back to Emmerdale she hasn’t told Vanessa yet she knew they couldn’t make it work if they were traveling back and forth from Liverpool.

Charity knew she couldn’t stay at the pub would be too much for her to handle, so she rented Vanessa’s old house Tracy had moved out months ago and it’s been empty so Diane was happy for Charity to rent it.

“Hi Ness” Charity smiled as Vanessa opened the door.

“Hi Charity, come in Johnny’s just upstairs getting ready he won’t be a minute” Vanessa said as she walked into the house.

“Mummy Charity, I’ve missed you so much” Johnny smiled as he ran into her arms.

“I’ve missed you to Johnny bobs so much” Charity cried as she hugged her little boy.

“You coming home, mummy miss you too” Johnny asked as he dragged her over to his toys.

“I won’t be living here with you and mummy but yes babe I am moving back to Emmerdale, I’ve rented your old place Ness. I move in in a few days Moses is coming to I just have to get him back in school down here” Charity smiled as Johnny handed her some cars for her to play with.

“Charity are you sure that’s a good idea what about your therapy” Vanessa asked not wanting her to go backwards.

“I’m going to see one here, and I’ve sighed up for AA meetings. I swear to you Vanessa I’ll be ok I need to be here my family is here this is where I need to be. I can go college here would be easier to get a job here too, please don’t worry I’m ok” Charity smiled as she played with Johnny.

“Ok, I’ll leave you two together so you can spend time with him, I’ll be back in a couple of hours” Vanessa said as she went to grab her coat.

“You don’t need to leave Ness, we can spend time together all of us if you want” Charity said hoping she’d stay she missed her.

“No Charity honestly its fine I said I’d go and see Rhona, I won’t be long Jonny be good for mummy Charity,” Vanessa said as she walked out the door.

“He’s always good aint you Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she tickled him.

“Mummy Charity wanna play xbox Noah let me keep it, I’ve got to be careful with it though mummy said or it will break” Johnny asked as he got up to turn the tv on.

“Ok but I warn you I’m not very good” Charity smiled as he handed her the controller.

“Mummy not good either, I always win, when can I see Moses” Johnny asked as he put fifa on.

“In a couple of days he’s so excited to see you he’s missed you Johnny bobs” Charity smiled she loved to see him so happy.

“So we’ll be brothers again” Johnny asked hoping they was.

“Oh babe you’ve always been brothers I’m sorry for not being here and for you not seeing Moses things are going to be different from now on I’ll never leave you again I promise” Charity said as she hugged him.

“I love you mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he wiped her tears from her face.

“I love you to you’ll always be my Johnny bobs, now what team do you want to be” Charity asked as she picked Arsenal.

“I’ll be Leeds make it easy on you, and mummy said I got to support them I prefer Bradford but they not in the Premiership” Johnny said as he picked his team.

“Johnny you support who you want to ok babe, I don’t know much about football but Moses is a Liverpool fan I think that has to do with him living there. So what buttons do I need to press” Charity asked not having a clue how to play the game.

“Ok, A, Y, and B are to pass mainly press A or Y though B is for crossing the ball. X is for when you want to shoot the left stick is for you to move your player the right stick is for tricks but that will be too hard for you to do” Johnny smiled as he showed her.

“Ok I got this lets play” Charity smiled she knew she was in for a strong defeat but she wanted to see him happy.

Charity couldn’t believe it when she scored a goal and Johnny was in shock too he won the game 15 - 1 but to her it felt like a victory.

“How did you do that” Johnny asked not expecting her to score.

“Pure luck I was just hitting the buttons next time you won’t take your goalkeeper out to score against me” Charity laughed at the face he was giving her.

“Well your better than Mummy she never scores and you know how competitive she is she sometimes tries to cheat” Johnny smiled.

“Really that sound like Ness, what game would you like to play now” Charity asked this was fun she needed to get Moses a console that way she could practise.

“I really like Fortnite but mummy said I’m not allowed to play it Noah sometimes lets me don’t tell mummy. We can build things in minecraft if you want mummy like that game because she can’t lose” Johnny laughed as he put minecraft in.

“Ok sound fun, why are you not allowed to play Fortnite” Charity asked confused.

“It has guns and you have to shoot people she said I’m too young, my friends at school play it” Johnny shrugged his shoulders he didn’t see an issue to the game.

“Your mum is right Johnny bobs you are to young when your bigger you can play it, but don’t worry I won’t tell mummy Noah plays it with you ok” Charity smiled as he opened up the game.

“Thanks mummy Charity, we’ll play on easy peaceful mode so you can’t die, let’s build a house” Johnny smiled as he started knocking down trees.

Vanessa smiled when she walked back into the house seeing them playing minecraft they’d made a little village Vanessa guessed it was mostly Johnny doing the building.

“Hi Ness Johnny’s showing me how to play xbox apparently I’m better than you” Charity laughed.

“Yeah mummy Charity even scored a goal you never do that” Johnny smiled.

“Yeah well let’s see about that we’ll play a game see who wins” Vanessa said as she sat down taking the controller from Johnny.

“Remember Mummy Charity, mummy cheats she will try and distract you and put her hand in your face” Johnny said as he put fifa back on.

“Oh I know Johnny bobs I got this, which team Ness” Charity smiled this was going to be fun she’s learnt a lot in the last couple of hours.

“I’ll be Leeds you can be who you want” Vanessa smiled Charity was gonna be as bad as her so she could potentially win.

“I’ll be Arsenal again I scored with them last time” Charity said as they waited for the game to start.

“Remember what I said Mummy Charity pass and through ball, shoot” Johnny said as the game kicked off.

“Hey why aint you giving me any tips” Vanessa said as Charity tackled her.

“I tell you all the time, you just don’t listen” Johnny smiled as Charity scored.

“1-0 you really are bad at this babe took me seconds to score” Charity laughed.

“See mummy crap” Johnny laughed alongside Charity.

“It’s not over yet I could come back” Vanessa said as yet again Charity tackled her.

“You might as well give up now babe” Charity laughed as she scored again.

“This is not fair you’ve clearly played this before” Vanessa asked no way was she new at this.

“Nope never Johnny just a really good teacher admit it babe I’m just better at video games. I’m going to buy Moses one then I’ll get really good” Charity laughed.

“Ok your better happy now, let’s just play something else I’m going to play this game till I’m an expert than I’ll beat you and you mister” Vanessa smiled.

“See Johnny bobs mummy really competitive she hates to lose that why this is so fun” Charity smiled as Vanessa chucked the controller at her.

“Mummy you said I’m not allowed to do that” Johnny said as he picked his controller up.

“Charity I’m going to order take away if you want something to eat before you go” Vanessa asked as she put the kettle on.

“Yes please thanks Ness” Charity said as she made her way over to Vanessa in the kitchen.

“Do you want a cuppa, so I was thinking now that your moving back we could share custody of the boys obviously every other weekend Moses is with Ross. I know that won’t change but if we alternate weekends or I’ll have them some days and you have them some days” Vanessa asked she wanted to have Moses back just as much as Charity wanted Johnny.

“Sounds good to me Johnny’s missed his brother he told me that earlier and Moses misses him to we have to right by them this time Ness I don’t want to see them hurt again” Charity said as Vanessa handed her the tea.

“Don’t worry we won’t mess this up the boys come first whatever happens between us they are all that matters we can’t break them up again” Vanessa said they had to make this work they couldn’t mess up again.


	3. chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Charity has been back for a few days now and she and Moses have settled in well. Johnny stayed over last night and it was nice to have her boys back together again they were inseparable.

“Morning Ness” Charity smiled as she opened the door.

“Morning Charity are the boys ready” Vanessa asked as she walked through the door of her old house.

“Yeah they’ll be down in a minute do you want a cuppa I’ve just put the kettle on” Charity asked as she made her way to the kitchen.

“Yes please, how was your meeting yesterday” Vanessa asked as she at the table.

“It was ok bit weird seeing someone knew but she was nice, I spoke to Dr Green afterwards and he said I can ring whenever I want if I need to talk” Charity said as she handed Vanessa the tea.

“That’s good what are you doing today then” Vanessa asked trying to make conversation she didn’t want it to be awkward.

“Nothing much going to finish unpacking need to enrol in the college as well get my course transferred. The boys are excited to be going to the zoo they spent all morning talking about it” Charity smiled was nice just to talk to Vanessa again she missed this. 

“Mummy Ness, we ready to go” Moses asked as he ran down the stairs.

“Morning Moz where’s Johnny” Vanessa asked as he jumped into her arms.

“He’s on his switch” Moses said as he hugged her.

“What’s a switch” Vanessa asked confused.

“It’s a video game Ness, when we went shopping yesterday he asked me for one” Charity smiled as Johnny gingerly walked down the stairs playing his new games console.

“Charity you shouldn’t be spending that much money” Vanessa said in shock.

“It’s only money Ness and I was getting Moz the new Xbox it’s only fair Johnny bobs get’s something too, I’ve missed him Ness I want him to be happy” Charity smiled as Johnny came and sat on her lap.

“Morning Mummy” Johnny mumbled not looking up from his game.

“Morning Johnny, you ready to go” Vanessa asked as she got up from the table they would need to leave soon or they will be stuck in traffic.

“Yeah one minute, Mummy Charity you coming” Johnny asked as he finished the level on his new game.

“No babe not today, just you Moz and mummy” Charity said as she hugged him.

“Can I stay with you, we can rematch,” Johnny asked not wanting to leave her.

“Johnny bobs your mum’s planned a day at the zoo for you and Moz we can play video games another day ok,” Charity said as he placed the switch on the table.

“Ok, I’m going to miss you” Johnny sighed he couldn’t understand why they all couldn’t go like they used to.

“I’ll miss you to Johnny bobs” Charity said as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Charity you can come if you want I really don’t mind” Vanessa said feeling bad about Johnny she knew how much he missed her.

“Ok, only if you’re sure I don’t want to impose on your day Ness” Charity said needing her to be sure.

“Honestly Charity it’s fine the boys want you there it will be fun to do something with them together, now boys go put your coats on” Vanessa smiled as she helped Charity put the cups and dishes in the sink.

“Mummy can I take my switch” Johnny asked as he put his coat on.

“Not today Johnny you don’t want to lose it” Vanessa said she knew how expensive they were not really an item to take to the zoo.

“Mummy Ness, Johnny lost to Mummy at fifa and he threw the controller, mummy said he learnt that from you” Moses smiled Johnny stormed upstairs when he lost was funny.

“Wow she beat Johnny, Charity you must have played the game before only Noah can beat Johnny,” Vanessa said in shock.

“I couldn’t sleep spent most of last night playing it I even won a trophy and packed some players for them it’s no big deal” Charity smiled at the face they all were giving her.

“Mummy Ness, I’ll teach you that way you can beat mummy, but if you don’t win please don’t throw my controller I don’t want it to break I was lucky when Johnny threw it” Moses smiled.

“It was one time Moz I’m not in the habit of throwing things” Vanessa tried explaining to him.

“Ness don’t lie to the boy you hate to lose same as Johnny bobs try not to teach him bad habits” Charity laughed as Vanessa slapped her in the arm.

“Ok I lost can we stop talking about it now I’m still better than you two” Johnny said as he pointed at his mum and Moses.

“Let’s go and Johnny one day I’ll beat you at fifa too,” Vanessa laughed at the face he was giving her.

“Ness, Moses starts school on Monday, I can take Johnny into school if you want” Charity asked as they were driving to the zoo.

“That’s good, thank you Johnny can stay with you tomorrow night make things easier,” Vanessa said as she turned the radio on.

The ride to the zoo was pleasant charity played some games with the boys while Vanessa drove it felt just like old times before everything went wrong.

“Now boys no running off ok you must be within seeing distance at all times Moses can you hold Johnny’s hand” Vanessa asked as they arrived not wanting any incidents.

“Ok Mummy Ness can we see the tigers” Moses asked as they walked through the gate.

“Cause we can, no spiders though you know how mummy is” Vanessa laughed.

“Me it’s not me scared of them it’s you and you know it same as Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as they looked at her.

“Whatever you say Charity” Vanessa smiled as she produced their tickets and purchased another one for Charity.

“Ness I can pay for mine” Charity said feeling bad.

“Honestly Charity it’s fine you can pay for lunch” Vanessa smiled.

“Mummy Charity look Monkeys” Johnny smiled as he pulled her over to them.

“I see that Johnny bobs, look there’s a baby one” Charity smiled as she knelt down to show him.

“This is amazing will there be dinosaurs” Johnny asked he loved them.

“No babe don’t think so, but we can go to the dinosaur exhibit soon ok” Charity said as he smiled she loved to see him happy.

When they got to the spiders Charity decided to prove she wasn’t scared of spiders and she held the tarantula even moving it towards Vanessa’s face. 

“Ok, ok you’re not scared of them, point proved” Vanessa said in shock.

“I told you it was Johnny bobs, and also Noah had to pretend to as well didn’t want them to feel silly did I, now snakes no thank you they can eat you whole not happening with me” Charity laughed as she placed the spider back down.

“Mummy Charity you silly” Johnny laughed a snake can’t eat you.

“Mummy snakes don’t eat people don’t be silly, can they mummy Ness” Moses asked suddenly scared to see the snakes.

“No, not the small ones, I’m sure some of the big ones could but they wouldn’t be here, Charity really you shouldn’t be scaring them.” Vanessa sighed as both boys no seemed frightened.

“Look I saw it on the telly not taking any chances but boys Mummy Ness right I’s only the big snakes also don’t go near the poisonous ones” Charity said as they finished walking through the spiders and insects section.

“Can they bite Mummy” Johnny asked suddenly feeling scared.

“Well some snakes do but not the ones we’ll be seeing today” Vanessa said trying to soothe her son’s fears.

“Don’t worry boys Mummy Ness a snake charmer she talks to them and everything they won’t harm you” Charity smiled as she knelt in front of the two boys not wanting them to be scared.

“Mummy Ness you talk to snakes what do they say” Moses asked that’s so cool.

“I don’t talk to snakes Moz mummy being silly,” Vanessa said shaking her head.

“Oh but babe you do remember that time you was talking to that snake in the surgery” Charity laughed as Vanessa looked annoyed.

“Mummy I think it’s cool you talk to snakes” Johnny smiled.

“Oh for the love of god it’s going to be everywhere now that I talk to snakes. Boys it was one time and I was upset the snake didn’t talk to me back or anything Mummy Charity just being silly,” Vanessa sighed the boys were chatterboxes she didn’t want this to be topic of conversation with her friends or family. 

“Ness I didn’t mean to upset you I just didn’t want the boys to be scared and thought it was funny” Charity said as they walked around feeling bad about what she said.

“It’s ok Charity I know you didn’t mean anything by it, we should eat soon,” Vanessa said as her tummy rumbled.

The rest of the day went smoothly and the boys had so much fun they even fell asleep on the way home from sheer exhaustion. Charity went a bit overboard in the shop and bought them so many toys and teddy’s Vanessa wanted to tell her not to spoil them but she couldn’t not when she saw how happy they was.

“Today was a good day, thanks for inviting me Ness” Charity smiled as she carried Moses into her old house.

“Your welcome they had fun didn’t they” Vanessa smiled as they carried the boys up to their room.

“That they did and we got Johnny bobs to forget about video games for a day I think he’s spent too much time with Noah” Charity smiled as they watched them sleep.

“Do you want a cuppa” Vanessa asked as they walked back down the stairs not wanting to wake them up.

“Yes please thanks Ness” Charity smiled as she went and sat down on the sofa.

“So you have your AA meeting in a few days Chas mentioned it I’m not trying to pry” Vanessa said as she handed Charity a cup of tea and sat down opposite her on the chair.

“Yeah will be a bit weird with new people but we all there for the same thing so there shouldn’t be any judging, it helps to talk to people who have the same struggles” Charity sighed it was still hard for her to talk about things.

“You know you can talk to me Charity I’ll always be here for you I’d like us to at least be friends,” Vanessa said not wanting to lose Charity from her life.

“Thanks Ness do you think you’ll ever be able to give me another chance I know I don’t deserve one after what I did but I love you and I now it might much to you anymore but I, I will always love you” Charity said all she wanted was for them to be a family again.

“I can’t Charity, you hurt me more than anyone ever has I just don’t trust you not anymore” Vanessa said she wanted to forget everything but she couldn’t she can’t get the image out of her head.

“Ness I am so sorry for hurting you I know I’ve said this before he meant nothing to me it’s you I want nobody else. Yes I know I made a mistake the biggest mistake of my life. Well I better go it’s getting late, I’ll be over tomorrow afternoon to pick the boys up goodnight Ness” Charity cried as she got up to leave she couldn’t stay any longer it just hurt to much.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It’s been a week now since Charity and Vanessa went to the zoo. Vanessa felt like Charity was avoiding her she had to go over and speak to her find out what’s going on she thought they were friends.

“Hi Ness what’s up” Charity asked as she opened the door not expecting to see her.

“What’s up are you kidding me you’ve been avoiding me all week” Vanessa yelled as she walked through the door.

“I haven’t I’ve been really busy all week I started that new course and I’ve been to see my psychiatrist” Charity lied she couldn’t tell her it’s hard seeing her and not being with her.

“I haven’t seen you since last weekend I thought you were avoiding me because I hurt you. Charity I care about you I don’t like to see you hurting. This is killing me too I want to forget but I am completely broken up inside, and I don’t know how to fix it. I wish I could but I don’t know how. How could you kiss someone else and then claim you still love and care about me” Vanessa yelled she couldn’t stop herself she’s been holding it in for so long.

“I love you Vanessa, there’s no one else all I want is you” Charity cried as she reached out to pull her in to her arms.

“You don’t or you wouldn’t be able to do those things Charity, those things just don’t happen for no reason” Vanessa yelled as she moved away from her.

“He kissed me, do you think I wanted that to happen to destroy my relationship with the person I love most in the world, the kiss meant nothing to me. I love you and I will never love anyone more than I ever loved you. You’re it for me all I want is you and our boys to be a family again. I know your hurting right now but we’re going to be together forever and I know that but you still need to figure that out” Charity said as she walked out she couldn’t stay anymore even though it was her house she just had to go she couldn’t hear anymore.

After leaving Charity’s house Vanessa needed to go and clear her head she hates the way things are she’s taken the day off she couldn’t work not in the state she’s in.

“Hi Vee, do you want a cuppa” Tracy asked as she opened the door to her sister.

“No thanks Trace I’ve come to ask if you would pick Johnny up from school I’m just not felling that great” Vanessa asked she had a massive head ache.

“Of course I was going to ask about looking after him tonight, see I’ve set you up on a date tonight Katy’s my new hairdresser she lives in Hotten we got talking and I think you’ll be good together” Tracy smiled it was time for her sister to move on.

“You did what, Tracy I told you I’m not ready to start dating again” Vanessa yelled.

“Vee I just want you to be happy you need to move on, you can’t be single for the rest of your life do you really think Charity’s been pining for you all this time get real Vee. You need to live a little see what’s out there,” Tracy said.

“I’m not going Tracy I love Charity I was going to marry her, I don’t know if I’m ever going to forgive her or if we’ll ever get back together. But I can’t go on a date with someone not right now I’m not ready and frankly I don’t want to” Vanessa sighed why didn’t her sister ever listen to her.

“Vee you have to I said you would now how is this going to look, please Vee if you don’t like her just make an excuse to leave or something” Tracy pleaded she really didn’t want to have to find another hairdresser.

“Ok, I’ll go but I’m telling you now don’t ever do this to me again if and when I’m ready to date I will ok” Vanessa sighed her day couldn’t get any worse.

After Charity picked Moses up from school she took him over to the pub to have a catch up with Chas she hasn’t really spent any time with her cousin since moving back she still found it hard to be around the pub.

“Hi Chas, you got time for a cuppa” Charity asked as she made her way over to the bar.

“Cause Matty take over, hiya Moses, you’ve grown so much what has mummy been feeding you” Chas smiled as she ruffled his hair.

“So how’s this place been going” Charity asked as she sat down at the table.

“It’s been good, how are things with you now, it’s good to have you back kid, place wasn’t the same without you” Chas smiled as she made the tea.

“I’m doing much better, I’m seeing Johnny again which is more than I deserve it’s been hard seeing Vanessa and not being with her I just need to make her see I’ve changed, anyway enough about me how have you been how’s Eve she must be so big now” Charity asked as Chas handed her the tea.

“Eve’s good she’s getting into everything we’ve had to kid proof the house. She’s with Paddy visiting his mum she’ll be home in a couple of days I’ll bring her round to yours” Chas smiled.

“Hi Ness where you of to you look nice” Rhona asked as she saw Vanessa walking towards the pub.

“Thanks Rhona Tracy set me up on some date I really didn’t know what to wear” Vanessa sighed.

“You look great don’t stress I hope things work out for you Ness you deserve to be happy well I better go I’m meeting Marlon, I’ll pop over tomorrow and we can have a catch up” Rhona smiled.

“Ok I’ll see you tomorrow have fun with Marlon” Vanessa smiled she was happy they were a couple again.

“Hi Ness what can I get you, you just missed Charity” Chas smiled as she saw her walk through the door.

“Just a pint of lager thanks Chas, I didn’t think Charity wanted to come in here anymore” Vanessa asked.

“We just had a catch up she’s really trying Ness I wouldn’t let her get back on the waggon” Chas said as she poured the drink.

“I know you wouldn’t I wasn’t implying you would I just worry about her she’s doing so well with her treatment” Vanessa said she was proud of Charity for getting help.

“She really is, you look nice going anywhere nice” Chas asked.

“Hi you must be Vanessa, I’m Katy shall we” Katy asked as she led Vanessa over to the table.

“Hi I don’t know what my sister told you about me but I’m really not ready for a relationship right now, I’m just not ready for that” Vanessa sighed as she took a sip of her drink.

“Tracy said you broke up with your girlfriend, I’m just out of a long relationship too, I’d be happy to just have some more friends in town” Katy smiled Tracy wasn’t lying when she said her sister was attractive.

“Ok what drink would you like” Vanessa asked she knew Chas was going to have questions.

“I’ll have a glass of red wine, thank you” Katy smiled Vanessa seemed like a nice person.

“So who’s your friend” Chas asked this wasn’t good Charity wasn’t going to take this well.

“Katy’s she’s a friend of Tracy’s I said I’d meet her can I have a red wine please thanks Chas” Vanessa asked not really wanting to go into any more details.

Charity was having a quite night Moses was in bed so she decided to watch a movie she didn’t feel tired and she had a lot on her mind she was really struggling today and if it wasn’t for her kids she knew she’d be drinking again.

“Hi Mum” Noah smiled as she opened the door.

“Noah, it’s so good to see you, I thought you were stationed in Berlin” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“I’ve got a few days leave so thought I’d come home and see everyone” Noah smiled as they sat on the sofa.

“It’s so good to see you, I’ve missed you so much” Charity cried she’s been so worried about him, him being in the army scares the crap out of her she couldn’t handle it if he’s sent to a war zone.

“I’ve missed you to mum, how’s things with Ness, I know Johnny been staying with you I’m so happy for you Mum I know how much you missed him” Noah smiled as he wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I’m happy to have Johnny back, Ness not ready for us to be together again I hope one day she will be I’ve still got so much work to do to make things right, I would make us a cuppa but I’m out of milk” Charity said.

“Mum go shop I’ll wait here, if Moses wakes up, tomorrow I’m going to go over and see Vanessa and Johnny” Noah said.

“Ok do you need anything” Charity asked as she put her coat on.

“Na mum I’m good” Noah smiled he was so happy to be home even if it was only for a short time.

Charity couldn’t believe what she was seeing as she walked back from the shop, a very drunk Vanessa kissing some dark haired woman as she was getting into a taxi, Vanessa really was ready to move on and it tore the heart out of Charity’s chest she had to get out of here.

“Noah I have to go can you look after Moses I’ll be ok, I just need to clear my head” Charity cried as she called Noah she couldn’t go home so she got in her car and drove off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Vanessa couldn’t believe she let Katy kiss her, she felt terrible she knew she’d had a lot to drink but that wasn’t an excuse. The only person she wanted kissing her was Charity, she had to go and see her. Firstly she needed to shower she was still slightly hung over.

Charity’s been sitting in the hotel bar in Leeds for most of the night, she ordered a Jack Daniels when she first arrived but she can’t bring herself to drink it she’s never felt pain like this and all she wanted to do was numb the pain and not feel like this.

“Doc I need your help here, I’m falling down that hole again” Charity cried into her phone.

“Charity you knew things were going to be hard with Vanessa and you knew her moving on without you was a possibility. I’m glad you haven’t drank and you did the right thing calling me. I know this is hard for you I’m going to suggest you leave the drink and go and get some sleep and when you’re ready go home. I’m going to arrange for you to have a support group meeting in a couple of days really talk to people who have the same struggles,” Dr Davis said as he tried to talk her out of drinking she needs support. 

Charity knew he was right she did need to try and get some sleep good thing she booked a room she felt bad just leaving Moses with Noah and she knew she needed to go back home.

“Morning Ness, Johnny” Noah smiled as he opened the door and Johnny jumped into his arms.

“”You’re home, it’s so good to see you” Vanessa smiled as she hugged him.

“Yeah got a few days leave, do you want a cuppa, Moses just eating breakfast” Noah smiled as they walked into the front room.

“Yes please where’s your Mum” Vanessa asked not noticing her there.

“She took off was really weird she went to get some milk then she rang me saying she had to go and clear her head she sounded upset” Noah said as he turned on the kettle.

“Noah that’s my fault, you have to believe me I never wanted that to happen this is all Tracy’s fault” Vanessa cried Charity must have seen what happened.

“What happened Ness” Noah asked confused.

After telling Noah what happened she felt so bad she really hadn’t wanted that to happen. She should never have gone to meet her and now Charity could be back on the booze and it be all her fault.

“Ness it will be ok, Mum will be ok, I know you Ness you would never intentionally hurt Mum I think you both need to talk its clear you still love Mum and Mum still loves you. She’ll be home soon you should stay and talk to her” Noah said as he hugged her he just wanted them to be happy again.

After a few hours sleep Charity knew she had to head home she wanted to spend time with her son before he left again. She knew she would have to talk to Vanessa eventually but that would have to wait she didn’t think she could handle hearing anything about her new girlfriend now.

“Ness what are you doing here” Charity asked confused not expecting to see her in her house.

“We need to talk Charity I need to explain what I think you saw last night, Noah’s taken the boys to the cinema he said to call him once I’ve seen you” Vanessa said as Charity say opposite her on the arm chair.

“It’s ok Ness you don’t need to explain anything, I just want you to be happy Ness even if that’s not with me. I’m not going to lie seeing you with her ripped my heart from my chest and I came so close to hitting the bottle again. But I promised my kids I wouldn’t get like I was again and I’m not going to. I’m just not ready to see you with someone else it just hurts to much so I think it be best if we just didn’t see each other for a while” Charity cried she had to do this she had to let Vanessa go she didn’t want either of them to hurt anymore.

“Charity I’m not with her, that was Tracy trying to set me up yes we had dinner but I told her I wasn’t ready to date anyone. We had a lot to drink, this is not an excuse but she kissed me, and I know I don’t need to explain myself I know we’re not together but I need you to know the only person I want kissing me is you. I love you Charity it’s always been you, I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. We’ve been through so much in the last year we’ve wasted so much time being apart I don’t want to be apart anymore. I want you to be my wife more than I’ve ever wanted anything. So I was wondering if you would like to spend the rest of your life with me” Vanessa smiled as she got down on one knee and pulled the ring out of her pocket.

“You want to marry me” Charity asked in shock she wasn’t expecting this.

“I do, more than anything, we need to put all that stuff in the past and just concentrate on right now, I forgive you Charity I’ve done a lot of thinking today and I realised we can’t control what other people do, like you didn’t want that guy kissing you I didn’t want that lady kissing me either. We belong together Charity I bought this ring when I first got to my mum’s I know then we were already engaged but I wanted you to have a ring to, to show you how much you mean to me. When Tracy told me you were having an affair and she sent me that photo I was destroyed I’ve never felt so broken. It killed me sending you my ring back I came close to throwing this away too but I just couldn’t. I think deep down I knew that one day I’d be here in this moment with you and we’d be ok. You’re my forever Charity and I’m never letting you go again, so what do you say” Vanessa asked still waiting for an answer.

“Yes of course I’ll marry you, you’re my forever to Ness and I swear to you I’ll never hurt you again does this mean you’re ready to wear this again” Charity smiled as she pulled the engagement ring out of her pocket.

“You kept it” Vanessa smiled as Charity placed the ring on her finger.

“Of course I did, this was a symbol of our love I could never part with it” Charity smiled as Vanessa placed the ring on her finger.

“I love you Charity, please come home I don’t want to be apart from you, you me and our boys that’s all I need I’m sure Diane wouldn’t mind” Vanessa smiled.

“Of course I’ll move back home, with you is where I want to be” Charity smiled as she kissed her this is where she belonged and her life couldn’t get any better.

“So your talk went well then” Noah smiled as he walked into the house to see them making out on the sofa.

“Sorry, I forgot to call you” Vanessa said as she buried her face in Charity’s shoulder.

“I’m not sorry do you know how long it’s been for me to kiss this woman” Charity smirked as Vanessa playfully slapped her arm.

“So where’s the boys” Vanessa asked not seeing them.

“Oh there with Chas, I thought I’d come home first make sure everything was ok” Noah said as he sat in the chair opposite them.

“We’ll things are more than ok we’re going to get married and your mum is moving back home” Vanessa smiled she’s never felt so happy.

“That’s amazing I’m so happy, I think we need to go and celebrate, don’t worry mum orange juice for you, I’m so proud of you mum. I know things haven’t been easy for you I’m so happy you’re getting help and I maybe away but I’ll always be there for you and I know you’re going to be ok” Noah smiled as he hugged his mum.

“I love you Noah, you’re a good kid I’m so lucky you’re my son and I’m sorry for all the mistakes I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. However, I promise you I’m never going to go down that dark hole again. I don’t need alcohol anymore all I need is my kids and you Ness, that’s all I’ll never need” Charity smiled as she placed a kiss on Vanessa’s forehead.

“Mummy, Mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he ran over to them.

“Mummy, Mummy Ness” Moses laughed as he joined his brother hugging their mum’s.

“So boy’s mummy and I have decided to live together again and we were wondering if you’d be happy to do that” Vanessa smiled as their faces lit up.

“Yes” they both yelled as hugged them.

“Oh and we’ve decided to get married and we wanted you boys to be a part of the big day” Charity smiled they were so happy all the pain she’s felt in the last year just melted away this is where she belonged.

“I’m happy for you kid” Chas smiled as she poured them all a drink.

“This has been a perfect day thank you for everything Ness I love you so much” Charity smiled as she kissed her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Today Charity was getting her six months sober chip and her family were so proud of her in a few days Vanessa was going to become her wife at last life really couldn’t get any better for Charity she had her family back and was doing well in college.

“Morning babe” Charity smiled as she wrapped her arms around Vanessa’s waist.

“Morning, I can’t wait for tonight, we’re so proud of you Charity I know it hasn’t been easy” Vanessa smiled as she turned to face her fiancée.

“I couldn’t have done it without you and the kids Ness. Yesterday I picked up the boys tuxedos, and you still have the rings from last time unless you want to change them. Noah will be arriving the morning of the wedding he won’t be able to stay long he’s only been given a day’s leave he’s booked a late flight back from Manchester airport though, just think in a few days you’ll finally be Mrs Dingle” Charity smiled as she held her in her arms.

“The rings are perfect Charity I can’t wait for us to be married I still can’t believe Johnny became a Dingle before me” Vanessa smiled so happy in this moment life couldn’t get any more perfect.

“Well babe that was your idea, I would have married you when you asked me too, it was you who wanted to plan a wedding, I was happy to just take you to a registry office and get it over with” Charity smiled as Vanessa started moving away.

“I wanted it to be special we didn’t put much effort into it last time and look what happened” Vanessa said not wanting to go through that again.

“Ness I swear to you nothing will keep me from marrying you how I wish I could take that day back none of that bad stuff would have happened. I love you so much Ness all I want is to be your wife and give you everything you’ve ever wanted” Charity smiled as she kissed her.

“I love you to Charity so much, we best get up I need to get the kids to school” Vanessa said as she got up as much as she’d like to stay in Charity’s arms all day she had things to do.

“Ok, I’ll kiss you later, so I’m meeting you at the ceremony” Charity asked she didn’t get why they made a big thing about being sober but it was something Vanessa wanted her to attend.

“I will do, Tracy is going to watch the boys so I figured we could go out after just us,” Vanessa said as she finished getting dressed.

“Sounds perfect, I’m going to go and shower I have some lessons this afternoon” Charity said as she got up.

After leaving the house, Vanessa had a few patients before she was leaving to get ready for tonight. Tracy was going to pop in later would be nice to have a catch up with her sister. Things were good again with Tracy and Charity, which Vanessa was grateful for she didn’t like when they didn’t talk she wanted them to be friends again. Debbie was arriving any day with the kids Vanessa wanted it to be a surprise she knew Charity would be so happy to see them. Vanessa wanted Charity and Debbie to work things out Charity wanted to make things right with her daughter.

“Hi Trace you ready for that cuppa, where’s my niece” Vanessa asked as she saw her sister walking towards the café. 

“Oh she’s with Nate, I wanted us to have a chat and she’s teething he can handle her for a couple of hours” Tracy smiled as she hugged her sister.

“Are you sure you don’t mind watching the boys I just think they’re too young to go to this thing tonight” Vanessa said feeling bad she had her own child to look after.

“Honestly Vee it’s fine the boys love to spend time with their cousin and Nate likes it when they come over they do boy things. So have you got everything ready for the wedding it’s so exciting Lydia looks so cute in her outfit” Tracy smiled.

“Yes everything ready, I have a couple of surprises I just can’t wait to finally be married” Vanessa smiled she knew this time it would work out she wasn’t going to let anything ruin her day.

“Have you thought about who’s going to walk you down the aisle” Tracy asked she knew it was going to be hard without their dad there.

“No, I’ll just walk down with the boys, Charity will be there waiting for me that’s all that matters” Vanessa smiled it hurt not having her dad there but she was determined to not let it get her down.

“I can’t believe you have to drink out of the welly you’re so tiny it’s going to drown you” Tracy laughed she couldn’t wait to see that.

“Ha ha Trace I can handle my drink thank you, and hey you’ll have to do it soon enough you’ll be a Dingle soon too” Vanessa smiled as she finished her tea.

“Yeah alright, will Charity be ok around all that drinking” Tracy asked she knew it be hard for her.

“Yeah she said she’ll be fine she said you could never stop alcohol from being at a Dingle wedding and she’s happy to just drink soft drinks like the kids she’s not scared to be around it all now she has a lot to live for now Trace. I offered to not drink too but she said the family wouldn’t let me out of drinking from the welly it’s tradition poor Johnny even had to drink from it when he became a Dingle his was soda no way was I letting my five year old drink alcohol” Vanessa smiled it was a good day he was so excited.

“That’s good what time are you meeting Charity” Tracy asked.

“In a couple of hours she has class first I’m going to meet her there, I know she’s nervous I can tell. I know none of this has been easy for her I know it was hard for Rhona when she was going through it. I just wish that I got her help sooner I knew after the Bails trial she needed to talk to someone I should have insisted maybe we could have prevented all the bad stuff happening. I could have lost her Trace I never want to come close to ever losing her again. I know you thought I was stupid to get back with her but I love her so much she’s it for me and I know she loves me too so much I now she’ll never hurt me again I trust her and she trusts me we can’t live without each other” Vanessa smiled she knew this time they’d be ok.

“I’m sorry for not helping you both I could see how much she was hurting I should have helped her I was just so angry I couldn’t get past what she did, I knew it didn’t mean anything I never should have told you it was an affair. I am happy you got back together even if I didn’t show it at first. I just want you to be happy Vee and if that’s with Charity then I want that for you, well I better go I need to pick the boys up from school have a good night tonight” Tracy said as she hugged her sister.

“Thanks Tracy that means a lot I’ll see you tomorrow” Vanessa smiled as she said goodbye to her sister. 

Charity suddenly felt nervous to go up there and speak in front of a room full of people it wasn’t easy to talk about her struggles. Vanessa was there with her she’s been her rock these last few weeks she knew she just needed to be honest and maybe what she had to say she could help someone struggling.

“Hi I’m Charity I’m six months sober today, I never thought I could get to this day alcohol has been in my life since I was a kid I had a really shit childhood and I used alcohol to numb the pain. Whenever life gets too hard I always turned to it, it always worked to help me forget. When I got together with my fiancé Vanessa I didn’t really need alcohol anymore I still had the occasional drink but I could handle that. I had a couple of relapses, she helped me through those and loved me through them she suggested I get help, and I really wished I’d listened to her back then. I nearly lost the love of my life because of my stupidity, I drove her away and I couldn’t handle the pain of losing her I’ve never felt pain like it. So I drank more than I ever had I just wanted the pain to go away so I tried to kill myself if my cousin didn’t find me when he did I wouldn’t be standing here today. I knew then I couldn’t keep living like I was so I got help and eventually Vanessa forgave me for all the bad stuff I done and now we’re getting married and I have my kids back in my life I’ve never been happier. If there’s one piece of advice I could give you is don’t be afraid to receive help you can get through this I’m living proof of that” Charity said as people started clapping.

“I’m so proud of you, I love you so much Charity” Vanessa smiled as she hugged her she knew it wasn’t easy for her to get up there and be so honest.

“I love you too so much let’s say we get out of here” Charity smiled as she kissed her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Today was the day she was finally marrying the love of her life she had to leave for the church soon she’s just finished getting ready Noah should be there any minute she couldn’t wait to see her boy she wished he could stay longer.

“Hi mum, you look amazing, once I take you to the church I’m going to go home and see Ness” Noah smiled as he came through the door.

“Hi Noah, have you seen the boys they looked so cute in there tuxedo’s Debbie’s taken them to the church” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“I’ll see them later you ready to go” Noah asked not wanting anything to go wrong he knew how perfect his mum wanted things to be for Ness.

“Yes let’s go can you give this to Ness please when you see her” Charity smiled as she handed him the box.

“Cause I will, I wish I could stay longer I won’t even be able to drink, oh sorry mum I forgot” Noah said as he realised what he said.

“It’s ok Noah I know there’ll be drinking today I’m ok with it honestly I can be around it, it wouldn’t be a Dingle wedding without it. I’m happy Noah I’m really happy I don’t need to drink not anymore I have so much to live for, I’m so proud of the man you are I’m so sorry if I’ve ever let you down” Charity said as they walked over to the church.

“Mum I’m so happy for you and you are a good mum I’m so lucky to have you in my life, I love you mum” Noah smiled.

“I love you to so much, thank you for not giving up on me” Charity smiled the church looked amazing Tracy has put so much work into making it look so good.

“I love you too, I’ll see you later” Noah smiled as the boys ran over to their mum.

“Mummy Charity, we be good we didn’t get the drink on our shirt” Johnny smiled as he hugged her.

“Hi Mum I’m glad you’re here they’re full of beans this morning they’re so excited bless them” Debbie said as she approached them.

“Mummy can we have cake, Debbie said we have to wait until later” Moses asked he was hungry.

“Not yet babe we got to wait till later mummy Ness got to drink from the welly first” Charity smiled.

“Yeah mummy got to become a proper Dingle like us first” Johnny smiled.

“It won’t be long before we’re all Dingles” Charity smiled as she hugged her boys.

“Mum I have everything ready I’m not going to give the boys the rings until the service I don’t want them to lose them. People are going to start arriving soon are you going to wait in the back or just stand at the altar, I know you said you didn’t want to do the walking down the aisle bit again” Debbie asked.

“I’ll just wait up there boys you be good for Debbie and I’ll see you both later” Charity smiled as she hugged them bye.

“Hi Ness, you look amazing, my mum asked me to give you this” Noah smiled as he walked through the door to his home.

“Thank you, you look so handsome, have you seen the boys they looked so cute” Vanessa smiled as he handed her the box.

Vanessa couldn’t believe what was in the box it was just like the necklace her nan had when she was a little girl how did she even find one it must have cost a fortune.

“Would you like me to put it on for you,” Noah asked as she started to tear up.

“Yes please thank you I can’t believe your mum got me this” Vanessa smiled as he put it around her neck.

“So I was thinking if you’d like me to I would really like to walk you down the aisle if that would be ok,” Noah asked hoping she wouldn’t say no.

“Noah I would love you too, thank you,” Vanessa said as she hugged him.

“You ready to go, everyone should be inside by now,” Noah asked as he held out his hand for her to take.

Charity has never seen a more beautiful site than seeing Vanessa walk towards her in her wedding dress with her son by her side and the two boys walking in front of them. This was the best day of her life and life couldn’t get any better than this today she was finally going to have everything she’s ever wanted.

“Hi Ness you look amazing” Charity smiled as she took her hand.

“Hi you look amazing too” Vanessa smiled there was no better site than Charity in a suit.

“We’re gathered here today to witness the union between Charity Dingle and Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield they’ve chosen to say they’re own vows” Harriet smiled she was so happy for them and was happy to perform the service.

“Vanessa, to be honest, I feel like the luckiest women in the world. I have not only found my best friend, you are the love of my life, my soul mate. Thank you for standing by me and sticking with me through everything, for seeing the person that’s before you now. Ness, you believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself and for that I love you so much. From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve captivated me, challenged me, frustrated me and improved me in ways no person has done before. I promise to be true to you, to support and encourage you and to challenge and frustrate you. I will love you for all time” Charity smiled as she finished her vows.

“Charity I love you so much we’ve had our share of ups and downs but I wouldn’t change anything because it bought me here to this moment. I’m not really religious but I saw this passage and it fit us so well I thought I’d add it to my vows. Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I promise to always be there for you through the good and bad times, to support you and to love you for the rest of my life” Vanessa smiled as she wiped the tears from Charity’s eyes.

“It’s now time for the rings” Harriet smiled as Jonny and Moses handed their mum’s the rings.

“I Charity take you Vanessa to be my wedded wife. I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. All that I am I give to you. All that I have I share with you. I promise to love you, to be faithful and loyal, in good times and bad. With this ring I thee wed” Charity smiled as she placed the ring on Vanessa’s finger.

“I Vanessa take you Charity to be my wedded wife. I give you this ring as a sign of our love, trust and marriage. I promise to always be there for you, to give you my love, friendship and support. With this ring I thee wed” Vanessa smiled as she placed the ring on Charity’s finger.

“By the power of your love and commitment, and the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married you may both kiss the bride” Harriet smiled as they kissed.

After leaving the church, they headed to the pub for their wedding reception. They’ve never felt so happy and all their friends and family were there to celebrate their special day with them.

“Now we can get this party started, Vanessa it’s time for you to finally become a Dingle, Sammy get the welly” Zac smiled as he gathered everyone to witness the family tradition.

“Uncle Zac shouldn’t we wait, for that we haven’t even had our first dance yet don’t want her to be drunk before it’s all begun” Charity smiled as she held her wife.

“Charity I want to, I promise you I’ll be ok, I can handle my alcohol” Vanessa smiled as she placed a kiss on her lips.

“See it’s fine come on kid let’s make you a Dingle” Zac smiled as he handed her the welly.

Everyone started chanting as she downed the drink in one. Charity loved her so much in this moment as she was willing to do silly family traditions for her.

“No that’s done you’re officially a Dingle now love, to Charity and Vanessa I’m so happy for you both” Zac smiled as everyone cheered.

“See babe I’m fine, now let’s dance” Vanessa smiled as she took Charity in her arms.

“I love you Mrs Dingle, today has been perfect” Charity smiled as she kissed her wife.

“I love you to so much I can’t think of a better day, thank you for such a perfect day, so who picked the music” Vanessa asked as from this moment started playing.

“That would be Ryan, sounds perfect to me, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” Charity smiled as she kissed her wife.

“They look so happy, I’m so happy for mum, you nervous about your speech,” Debbie asked as she sat with Noah watching there mum dance with Vanessa.

“Yeah a little bit, you’re the maid of honour why didn’t she ask you” Noah asked he just hoped it went well.

“Mum wanted you to Noah, you know Vanessa more than me you lived with them, it’s only right your part of their big day too. This is going to mean the world to them just speak from your heart, it will be perfect. I never thought I’d ever see mum be truly in love, I just want her to be happy Noah she deserves to be happy after the life she’s had” Debbie smiled she knew this time it was forever because she knew her mum was truly in love for the first time.

“Thanks Debbie how’s things in Scotland” Noah asked it’s been ages since he last saw his sister.

“Things are good Sarah’s happy I knew she would be once she gave it a chance you know she’s so sorry about what happened, you were like siblings she hates that she put your life in danger” Debbie said needing him to know that.

“I know she is we write all the time, she’s ok with me being in the army now she didn’t want me going when I first suggested it. I’m glad I joined it’s giving me a career it’s making me a better man, well I better get ready to give my speech, I’ll see you before I have to go” Noah smiled as he hugged his sister.

“Right guys it’s no time for my little brother Noah to give his speech” Ryan smiled as the music stopped.

“Thanks Ryan, thank you everyone for being here I know my parents our both so happy you want to spend this day with them. Mum, Ness I’m so honoured you asked me to do this for you guys, I’m not that great at speeches never really had to do one before. Debbie said to speak from the heart so here it goes. You both do something that is extremely rare they give their hearts to each other unconditionally and that’s what true love really is, it’s not this fairy tale life that never experiences pain but it’s two people who truly love each other facing it together as one. Vanessa I’ve never seen my mum so happy, thank you for loving her like no one ever has, thank you for loving her kids like your own, thank you for being part of our lives, thank you for giving us another brother. We’re all Dingles now and I know all my mum’s ever wanted was a family, I’ve never been happier I know you’re going to be together forever to Mrs and Mrs Dingle” Noah smiled as everyone raised there glasses. 

“Thank you, I’m so proud of you” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“Thank you Noah, I’m so proud to call you my son what you said was perfect you had nothing to worry about” Vanessa smiled as she hugged him.

“I guess we best cut the cake before the boy’s just start eating it” Charity smiled as Johnny and Moses were trying to get to the cake.

“I just want to say thank you to you all for being here today, it’s been the best day boys would you like to help me and mummy cut the cake I know your both dying to eat some” Vanessa smiled as she took the boys hand.

“Right now that’s all done I’m going to take the boys you need to get ready for your honeymoon, the taxi is going to be here in an hour” Tracy smiled as she took the sleeping boys from Charity and Vanessa.

“What honeymoon, what are you talking about Trace” Vanessa asked confused.

“Don’t look at me Vee this was all her, now go get ready” Tracy smiled as she took the boys hand.

“I know you said you didn’t want to do anything, but I wanted to do this for us. I know you’ve always wanted to go to Paris so I’ve booked for us to go for a few days, and then Tracy is going to meet up with us with the boys so we can go Disney like we was supposed to last year” Charity smiled as Vanessa hugged her.

“Thank you I love you so much, this must have cost a fortune” Vanessa smiled as she held her wife in her arms.

“Well you’re worth it and so much more” Charity smiled as she kissed her wife today couldn’t be anymore perfect.


End file.
